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Getting over a bad relationship

You may be wondering what the relevance of the plant pot stand in the photo has to do with getting over a bad relationship. Over the bank holiday weekend, me and the Mr built this together, it was a new experience we enjoyed together, that's when the words for this post starting forming in my head.

Getting over a bad relationship

I don't very often talk about my relationship on Kate's Closet, but I am lucky enough to be married to my best friend, the person who I confide in, who I share parenting with, who I love and laugh with. A man who believes in me, encourages me and tells me I'm beautiful everyday, and always without fail kisses me goodbye every morning before he leaves for work.

That however hasn't always been the case, in what feels like a past life things where very different I was very different. I was nearly always unhappy, I felt unloved unwanted and unattractive. I was angry and resentful, resentful at the carefree attitude my then husband lived his life with no regard for being a husband or a father. 

This post is not meant to be a pity party, feel sorry for Kate and her crap marriage, it's about hope and positivity, when you hit rock bottom the only way is up, things do get better, you get better. Some wounds take longer to heal then others, but almost immediately that heavy leaden feeling in my chest lifted, that feeling you only get from feeling lonely despite not being alone.
Time passed and I achieved things I never thought I could, my kids where happy, we had fun together, we could watch disney all day, without anyone telling us to stop. I could have friends over whenever I wanted. I could speak freely without being afraid an argument would blow up, I could slowly be myself.

For me the biggest healer apart from time, was talking, once I know longer had to pretend my relationship was happy. I started talking, that's when I realized what I put up with wasn't "normal" and wasn't ok, and more importantly not my fault.

Slowly my confidence grew, confidence in my ability to manage alone, in my ability to parent and confidence in my appearance, my body, the way I looked, the clothes I wore.

Sometimes my demons do come back to haunt me, but now I have the strength to bat them away, and the support of a man that loves me despite my flaws and issues, and always has my back.

So to plagiarise the well known lyrics of Taylor Swift, the old Kate can't come to the phone, why not? cause she's DEAD! 

You might like to read Moving on and meeting someone new


  1. It's nice to break up from toxic relationship
    I agree with some points here

    Much Love,
    Jane | The Bandwagon Chic

  2. Toxic Relationships are nottttt fun. Such a lovely blog-post!

    Grace Louise ||

  3. Luckily I've never got to that point of a toxic relationship, but I agree with everything you've said here - such good advice!


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I'm Kate, Lover of clothes, skincare, makeup and chocolate biscuits, reader, not necessarily in that order Want to work with me email at

Kate's books

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
It Felt Like a Kiss
The Humans
Call Me By Your Name
Believe Me
One Day in December
Eve of Man
The Martian
Bridget Jones's Baby: The Diaries
Crazy Rich Asians
Dear Mrs. Bird
The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle
The Keeper of Lost Things
Three Things About Elsie
The Cactus
Wilde Like Me
The Tattooist of Auschwitz
Reasons to Stay Alive
Everything I Know About Love
Why Mummy Drinks

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